Deployment extensions sometimes happen, and it’s important to remember that the extension is no one’s fault, especially not the service member’s. Your installation Military and Family Support Center provides support for service members and families. Military OneSource also offers the Military and Family Life Counseling Program, where service members and families can find confidential counseling on or near their installation for a range of topics, including (but not limited to) stress and other deployment-related challenges.

The unknowns around military deployments can be frustrating for family members and friends. It’s natural to want to know everything about a service member’s deployment. While that might not always be possible because of limited communications, there are ways to stay updated. Consider these tips:

1. Connect with the community. Most installations have a Military and Family Support Center with information and services such as child care resources, youth programs, counseling, crisis intervention services and more. Visit MilitaryINSTALLATIONS for a list of programs and services at your installation. Friends, family, neighbors and other military families can serve as helpful “insider sources” during deployment.
2. Connect through military networks. Military networks can offer referrals, support and foster a sense of community through briefings and events. If you haven’t heard from one of these groups yet, don’t worry. Contact your Military and Family Support Center to identify your point of contact.
3. Limit news exposure. Overexposure to images and stories in the media can be unnecessarily stressful. If you do watch the news, make sure you know what you can handle. For some, watching in moderation can help to stay grounded. But for many, watching the news can increase anxiety.

Hearing from families and friends is a great morale builder for deployed service members — and staying connected can help you feel closer, too. Even when communication channels are unpredictable, there are ways to keep the lines open. Here are some tips for staying connected:

• Letters: Letters offer service members something tangible that can be reread during isolated moments, or when other methods of communication aren’t available.
• Care packages: Sending care packages can help deliver a little piece of home to service members. Learn about special supplies and services available through the U.S. Postal Service, such as flat rate boxes and domestic shipping prices if you use Army, Fleet or Diplomatic Post Office addresses, also known as APO, FPO and DPO.
• Email: Email can be an easy way to remain in touch if your service member has internet access. Remember to mind OPSEC rules and to send small, mostly text emails to ensure deliverability under military network restrictions.
• Phone: Service members may not always have access to a phone during deployment. Be sure to check rates with your network provider or try using an online service or Voice over Internet Protocol, or VOIP service, for international calls.
• Social media: Social media can be an informal, fun and dynamic way to connect with your deployed love one. Service members should check with their command to see what options are available and what security restrictions apply.
• Audio/video messages: Videos and voice recordings are great ways to hear one another’s voice and check in on day-to-day life.

Regardless of how you choose to stay in touch, keep these tips in mind when it comes to communicating during deployment:

• Connect often and about anything. Include details on day-to-day activities, or simply send short “thinking of you” messages. Sharing daily happenings from home can help maintain connections — no matter the topic.
• Be honest, but sensitive. Try to remain positive. Focus on exciting updates and good news — this will give them something to look forward to celebrating when they return.
• Accept that everything may not go as planned. A deployed service member may be in an area with limited mail or internet. Be patient and understand that this doesn’t mean that they don’t care or that you should worry.
• Involve family and loved ones. Think of creative ways to include children, friends and extended family members when making care packages or writing letters.

A service member’s children may need extra support during their parent’s deployment. Try to understand this time from their perspective. If helping care for the children, maintain routines around the house, plan activities and try to remain connected with the service member. What specific support looks like will depend on the child and their age.

• • Seek help if children need it. Reactions to separation vary depending on the child, their age and their previous experiences with separation. Be aware of their reactions, and try to determine if they are normal, or are red flags that require additional support or professional help.If you have questions or concerns about your child’s behavior, the Military and Family Life Counseling Program supports service members, their families and survivors with confidential counseling worldwide. Trained to work with the military community, military and family life counselors deliver valuable face-to-face counseling services, briefings and presentations to the military community both on and off the installation. Learn more about child and youth behavioral military and family life counselors.
    Military OneSource consultants are available 24/7/365 to answer questions and connect you to the resources and services you and your family need to live your best MilLife. Call 800-342-9647, call OCONUS, or schedule a live chat. To access a child and youth behavioral military and family life counselor, you can contact your installation child development center, youth or teen center, an installation public school, your child’s military youth summer camp, or the commander or unit training point of contact.
  • Encourage communication and community involvement. Speak with children about their feelings and let them know you’re there to support them. While some may ask many questions, others may feel better keeping their thoughts to themselves. Provide them with a notebook or journal so they can write down their thoughts, make up stories or even draw pictures to express how they’re feeling. Visit the Sesame Street for Military Families website for more deployment resources for young children.Encourage older children to get involved in clubs, sports teams or other community activities. This can provide a social network as well as something to divert their attention from separation issues. For more ideas, check out this MilLife Guide for Helping Teens Deal With Deployment.
  • Keep consistent routines at home. The deployment period is often a time when children rebel or misbehave. Parents or caregivers should let children know that family rules remain the same even while their parent is away. Maintaining consistency and routines as much as possible can support children with coping.
  • Stay in contact with service members. Giving children and youth an opportunity to stay in touch with their deployed parent can help maintain their relationship. Encourage them to send letters, drawings, photographs, report cards, copies of schoolwork, and videos or audio recordings to service members.
  • Help children think of their service members every day. Simple things — like taking over their parent’s chores or listening to their favorite music — can remind children of their deployed parent each day. It can also help for children to learn something new like a dance routine or sport while their parents are deployed. They can talk about their progress with their deployed parent and show off these new skills when their parent returns home.
  • Plan activities. Stay busy with children and youth by starting a new family activity or routine. A regular play date with friends or relatives can give children something to look forward to and keep their mind off their deployed parent’s absence. Creating new traditions, such as family game nights or weekend outings, can strengthen family bonds and distract children from missing activities with their deployed parent.For age-appropriate physical activities, stress reduction and menu ideas, check out the Thrive online program parent resources. Thrive is a collaborative effort between the Defense Department and the Clearinghouse for Military and Family Readiness at Penn State. The free, online program offers evidence-based strategies for nurturing healthy children ages 0-18.
  • Use support systems and programs to keep kids involved. People in military support programs understand the challenges families face during a deployment. A reliable support system also lets you connect with other families and children going through the same thing.

Your installation Military and Family Support Center can help you connect with:

• • • Deployment resources for families
    • Family readiness groups
    • School liaisons
    • Chaplains
    • Child and youth programs

  Children of active-duty, National Guard and Reserve service members who don’t live near installations might also feel isolated if none of their friends are from military families. The following resources can help these children stay connected and supported.

  • • • Boys & Girls Clubs of America Mission Youth Outreach— offers free club membership to provide high quality programs and caring mentors.
      • 4-H Military partnerships— offer programs for positive youth development through intentional learning experiences.
      • Yellow Ribbon program— promotes the well-being of National Guard and Reserve members, their families and communities by offering events to connect them with resources through the deployment cycle.
  • Keep other adults in the loop. Make sure to alert and stay connected with important adults in your children’s life during deployment, including teachers, counselors, coaches, school administrators, religious leaders, family and friends.
  • Make timelines easy to understand. Children may be especially focused on how much time a deployed parent will be away. Explain the deployment timeline in a way that they’ll understand.
  • Reach out if you need help. Whether you live on-base or off, in the U.S. or overseas, the military community is available to help you manage deployment challenges. Military OneSource consultants are available 24/7/365 to answer questions and connect you to the resources and services you and your family need to live your best military life. Call 800-342-9647, call OCONUS, or schedule a live chat.

OPSEC, or operations security, means being mindful of what is shared about a service member’s deployment to protect you, service members and families. In the wrong hands, that information can jeopardize Defense Department personnel, operations and strategies. Be sure to avoid sharing the following details about the service member’s deployment:

• • Specific dates: Return or arrival dates can be dangerous in the hands of an enemy. If you are sharing dates over email or on social media, consider developing a “code” with your service member.
  • Location: Avoid sharing details related to location — like where your service member is deployed or where you’re living. Encourage everyone to disable mapping and location services on phones, computers and other devices.
  • Casualties: Each branch of service has a procedure for notifying families about the casualty of a service member. If you receive information about a casualty in your service member’s unit, never share those details on social media or on other online platforms.
  • Unit specifics: Your service member may share certain sensitive details about their unit in confidence, including unit morale, personnel problems, capabilities, activities, force readiness or supply shortages. Avoid discussing these topics in public places, online or with members of the media.

Safeguarding personal information is crucial to maintaining operations security. Revealing even the most basic details online like phone numbers, addresses or birthdays can make you vulnerable to enemies. Make sure you review and even consider changing certain settings on your social media and online accounts. It’s easy, and worth it in the long run.

• • • Privacy settings: Some blogs and many social media platforms will allow you to enable security settings that limit who is able to view what you post. Before using social media sites, understand your settings and limits on who can access this information, especially if you’re discussing deployment.
    • Location settings: Sharing photos, videos or geotags on your phone, computer or tablet can reveal personal details and exact locations. Before using any online platforms, applications or websites, get familiar with your account settings and only share location information with people you trust.
    • Third-party applications: Be cautious when using third-party applications, such as online games, surveys or plug-ins for other websites. When you provide third-party applications with personal details, you risk losing control of where your information is shared and who it’s shared with.
    • Protecting children: Children, no matter how young, also play an important role in maintaining OPSEC. Talk to children and teenagers about the serious risks of sharing certain information online and discourage interactions with strangers through gaming consoles on social media or through applications. You can also take steps to monitor their online behavior, such as setting up parental controls on gaming systems and wireless devices.

   

• Chances are you’re already taking steps to ensure your personal safety, like asking a neighbor to pick up your mail or leaving a vehicle parked in the driveway when you’re not home. But during deployment, you may want to pay particular attention to indicators that may advertise that your service member is deployed.
  • At home: Well-intended public displays of support such as yellow ribbons can also blatantly show that a service member is not present in the home. If patriotic symbols outside your home is important to you, be sure to keep them up regardless of your service member’s deployment status.
  • In conversations: Unless they have a need to know, when speaking with family or friends, avoid mentioning that your service member is deployed. If anyone you don’t know reaches out to you about your service member’s deployment, do not volunteer any information until you know further details. If they claim to be an official military spokesperson or a member of the media, direct them to your nearest installation’s local public affairs officer.
  • While traveling: When traveling, make arrangements for mail and newspapers to be postponed, get picked up by a friend or family member, or rerouted. While you’re away, stay alert and follow the buddy system, particularly at night. Should any issues arise, don’t hesitate to contact the police.

A service member’s return from deployment is cause for celebration. It’s also a time of readjustment, when everyone will be getting used to new routines. These ideas can help you prepare for a successful reunion and reintegration:

• Know the difference between reunion and reintegration. Think of reunion as short-term. This is the homecoming, from the immediate meeting to the first few days of celebration following a service member’s return home. This is a special time of joy, happiness and initial relearning, when everyone is excited to be together again. Reintegration is a longer process, with everyone returning to routines and establishing new ones.
• Understand that plans may change. Delays, emergencies or scheduling circumstances may prevent a service member from returning when expected, or keep family and loved ones from reuniting right away. Make sure you have backup plans, and try to remain positive throughout this time, focusing on the things that you can control.
• Discuss the reunion with the service member. Ask who they would like to have present at the initial reunion, and for ideas on what they might like for this event. Knowing their preferences will make for a smoother transition. If the service member wants a small reunion, try to understand that they may be asking for space before returning to their old normal. Talk about the reunion plan with family and loved ones, and keep everyone updated on changes to the schedule. Learn more about returning from deployment and helping your family transition.
• Set realistic expectations. You’ve probably imagined what you want homecoming to be like, but remain mindful that many changes may have taken place during deployment — for you, your service member and your loved ones. It might take a little time to adjust to being together again. This is completely normal.
• Stick to a budget. It’s been a long time since you’ve been together as a family, and you deserve to celebrate, but be careful to keep finances in check during the celebration. Focus on showing how much you care through time and effort — you’ll thank yourself later.
• Keep scheduling light. Agree with your service member on short-term plans and schedules and allow everyone the appropriate space and time they want. Remember that readjusting is a process, and too many plans can be overwhelming for everyone. Good communication can help you avoid frustrations and misunderstandings.
• Rest up. In the days and weeks leading up to your service member’s arrival, you may be working long hours to prepare. Remember you owe it to yourself and your service member to get enough rest before the reunion. The homecoming day can be exhausting — so the more you can rest in advance, the easier things are likely to be.
• Remember that everyone is adjusting. It’s normal for everyone to feel nervous. Service members may worry about how they’ll fit back in with family, friends and community. You may worry about changes that occurred during the deployment — such as different roles and responsibilities — and what this means for you and your returning service member. Give yourselves time to readjust. Be open and honest with each other about how you’re feeling and what you need help with. Good communication can help make the adjustments easier.
• Get help if you need it. If you or others in your household are struggling — either before or during reunion and reintegration — it’s a good idea to seek help. Free, confidential counseling is available from Military OneSource. Counselors can help with deployment adjustments, marital and parenting issues, stress management and so much more. You can also contact your installation Military and Family Support Center for more information about support services.Sometimes the challenges of deployment become overwhelming and require professional help. For serious mental health issues like depression, suicidal thoughts, child abuse, or domestic violence, call the Military Crisis Line at 988 and press 1.

Returning home from deployment can be challenging in many ways for service members. They are adjusting to a new routine, but they may also be wrestling with strong feelings from their experiences while deployed. While some combat and operational stress reactions are common and usually heal with time, other reactions may require professional attention. By recognizing the warning signs and knowing how to get help, you and your service member can become more resilient in the face of reintegration and reunion challenges.

Signs that service members may need help: Understanding the signs and symptoms of serious mental and behavioral health issues — like post-traumatic stress, combat and operational stress, depression, and substance abuse — can help at-risk service members access the support they need, which is readily available to them through a number of resources.

Combat and Operational Stress

Combat and operational stress may be present for a service member as a result of the daily stressors associated with deployment or a traumatic event. Regardless of the severity or the cause, seeking professional support as early as possible can help speed up the recovery process. Common symptoms of stress reactions, illnesses and injuries include:

• • Anxiety, irritability and excessive fear or worry
  • Difficulty maintaining mental focus and performing daily activities
  • Difficulty sleeping, recurrent nightmares and troubling memories or flashbacks
  • Uncharacteristic panic attacks and outbursts of rage
  • Changes in personality, behavior and unusual concern for beliefs or moral values
  • Withdrawal from social or recreational activities
  • Physical illness (e.g., headaches, stomach pains, back problems)
  • Serious suicidal or homicidal thoughts

Read Understanding and Dealing With Combat Stress and PTSD to learn more.

Post-traumatic stress

Post-traumatic stress can happen when an individual experiences or witnesses a traumatic event, such as military combat, terrorist incidents or serious incidents. Although the symptoms of post-traumatic stress are normal reactions to trauma, they may be an indication of a disorder if they do not improve with time. Post-traumatic stress can be treated successfully, so it’s important to know the common symptoms and seek professional help if needed. Signs of post-traumatic stress may include:

• • Repeatedly thinking about an event
  • Avoiding reminders of the trauma
  • Extreme mood instability
  • Being constantly alert or on guard
  • Feelings of depression, hopelessness and numbness
  • Difficulty with personal relationships
  • Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
  • Distorted negative beliefs and expectations of oneself or the world

Read Understanding and Dealing With Combat Stress and PTSD to learn more.

Depression and Suicide Prevention

Depression can happen to anyone — resulting in feelings that impact a person’s mood and daily activities. Service members feeling completely overwhelmed during reunion can happen. Understanding the warning signs can help you intervene and get them the help that they need. Signs to be aware of include:

• • A range of emotions and changes in personality, including repeated and intense feelings of sadness, anxiety, hopelessness or pessimism
  • A loss of interest in life or hobbies
  • Prolonged periods of crying or sleeping
  • Substance abuse or withdrawal from friends and family
  • Displays of emotional distress in online activity
  • Excessive feelings of guilt, shame or a sense of failure
  • Physical symptoms like weight loss or weight gain, decreased energy, headaches, digestive issues or back pain
  • Talking about dying or seeking information about death

Read this Suicide Prevention MilLife Guide to learn more.

Substance Abuse

Substance abuse is the excessive use of any mood-altering substance, to include (but not limited to) alcohol, legal and/or illegal drugs. It can be triggered by a number of factors, including separation from family, trauma or daily stressors. Key indicators of substance abuse include:

• • Decreased energy, loss of appetite and inattention to personal hygiene or dress
  • Irritability, agitation, mood swings, anxiety or depression
  • Difficulty concentrating, memory lapses or blackouts
  • Financial difficulties, trouble with the law or poor work performance
  • Relationship problems, including physical abuse and domestic violence
  • Denial of a substance abuse problem and spending more time doing activities involving alcohol and drugs

Read this Substance Abuse and Addiction MilLife Guide to learn more.

Where to Get Help

If you or someone you know is dealing with behavioral or mental health issues, it’s important to seek help. There are a variety of mental health resources and services available including:

• 988 Lifeline: By simply dialing 988, this lifeline offers 24-hour, toll-free, confidential support for a wide range of issue from mental health, any form of emotional distress, drug of alcohol use or abuse or just a caring ear to talk to. The 988 Lifeline ensure you are never alone.
  •  Military Crisis Line: By dialing 988 + 1, callers can connect with 24/7 mental health support tailored to veterans and service members. You can also initiate an online chat by sending a text to 838255.
• Military treatment facility or TRICARE-provided counseling: Locate military treatment facilities and covered services in the civilian community with the TRICARE Mental Health website or using the TRICARE medical facility locator.
• Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury: Access information and resources on psychological health issues and traumatic brain injuries.
• Installation-related services: Find information for chaplains, Military and Family Support Centers and other programs and services at an installation near you using the MilitaryINSTALLATIONS website.
• Your health care provider: Talk to your doctor for advice and resources.
• Self-Assessments: If you are trying to decide whether or not to seek professional help, try these free, anonymous mental health screenings for service members and families.