Talking to Your Military Teen About Substance Use

It might seem like your pre-teens are too young for a serious talk about substance use, but research shows that it’s not uncommon for children to be offered drugs or alcohol before turning 13.

Make conversations with your child a regular, frequent practice. The more you talk about all topics, the easier it will be to discuss difficult topics.

Be prepared to answer questions about your experience with drugs. Sharing your own experiences or being open about any family history can make the conversation more relatable and allow your teen to learn from the past.

A two-way conversation may likely resonate better with your teen. It’s important your child feels comfortable sharing his or her opinions, concerns or questions with you. Also, try discussing serious topics during side-by-side activities, like folding laundry, preparing dinner or driving. These activities take the focus off the teen and place it on the topic at hand.

Focus on real risks for commonly misused substances. For example, discuss how marijuana can affect their performance on sports teams or put them at risk for legal trouble. Teens may not be aware of the heightened risks of irreversible damage to organs through steroid use. Have an honest discussion about healthy choices for long-term growth and development.

Focus on positive word choices so your teen is less defensive. Use “I” statements to express how certain situations or topics make you feel as a parent versus phrasing sentences involving your teen as “you” statements. For example, begin a sentence with “I’m concerned…” instead of “you should never…” or “you always…”

While it’s important for both child’s parents to be on the same page and to be part of the conversations about difficult topics, your teen may feel less threatened talking to one parent at a time.

From music lyrics to television or movie characters to news reports, opportunities abound to discuss tough topics and situations and how others did or did not handle the challenges they faced.

Brainstorm scenarios in which your teen may be offered drugs and work together to come up with some real ways he or she could handle each situation.

When possible, revisit the topic of drug and alcohol use. Get to know your son or daughter’s friends and their friends’ parents. Stay involved in their social activities.