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ARTICLEMake a Difference to a Military Child
In the military community, resilience is a familiar and important concept. Service members and their families are aware of the protective role that strong and healthy relationships play in enhancing readiness.
The same is true for military children. Whether you have kids of your own or not, everyone in the military community has a positive role to play in a child’s life.
In fact, researchers have discovered that the most common factor for children who develop resilience is the presence of at least one stable and nurturing parent, caregiver or other adult.
Just think back to when a teacher, coach or even a neighbor gave you a compliment or helpful advice. It can be confidence-boosting. When an adult is present for a child, it helps that child build resilience and be better prepared to overcome adversities they may face, including a PCS, losing a parent, abuse or neglect.
Child-development experts have discovered that trust and support from a safe adult promotes the development of healthy social behaviors and positive coping skills in children, which are crucial to their long-term emotional and physical well-being.
So, when you commit to being a positive example and a steady presence in the life of a military child, your actions can help shape their long-term growth in positive ways. Your relationship provides structure, positive communication and stability.
The Science Behind Resilience
Discover how your actions help children develop resilience.
When a parent serves in the military, children often benefit from the leadership, sacrifice and strength their parents show. At the same time, it’s particularly important for children to learn how to adapt, manage stress and build resilience.
You can help foster these skills by understanding the importance of, and committing to, practicing these strategies for nurturing adult-child interactions.
Ways to Make a Difference in a MilKid’s Life
You may wonder how you can help or make a difference for a military child in your community. There are many ways, and they don’t all require a major commitment on your part. Here are some suggestions on how you can influence a child’s life for the better:
Offer praise and acknowledgmentPositive words can leave a lasting impression on a child. Saying something as simple as “great job” or acknowledging their hard work can act as positive reinforcement. Specific praise can be given for simple acts, such as finishing a homework assignment on time or doing their chores, as well as honoring achievements, such as acing a test or competing to their fullest in an athletic event.
Be an active listenerChildren need the adults in their lives to regularly engage them, check in on them and even ask them for their opinions. This is especially important for children who may be struggling to cope with a parent who is away on deployment.
Asking them questions about their day and genuinely listening to them shows that you care, and builds their trust — an especially important foundation that encourages them to seek help with more serious matters. Give them your full attention.
Put down your smartphone, make eye contact and respond to what they are saying in the spirit of their mood. If they’re being serious, be serious with them. If they’re in a playful mood, be playful back. Children learn to react and behave based on what the adults in their life are doing. Most of all, believe what they are saying and let them know that you do.
Have fun togetherEngage your inner child by taking the time to play games, read or do arts and crafts with the children in your life. Making an effort to engage children in a safe and positive way tells them they’re special and worthy of your time. And that can do wonders for their self-worth.
For ideas about what’s available on your installation, use MilitaryINSTALLATIONS to look up contact information for your local child and youth programs or Morale, Welfare and Recreation office, and discover what ideas they have for playtime.
Learn how to manage your own stressLearn how to manage your own stress: Children are sponges. They soak up energy from the adults around them — good and bad. To keep your family strong, it’s important to prioritize your own mental wellness and self-care, including learning how to handle stress in healthy ways so you can shield them as much as possible from negative behaviors or adult worries.
Consider coaching a sports teamIf you love sports and enjoy motivating others, then being a coach on your installation could be for you. There are many after-school activities available for adults to volunteer for, and it’s a great opportunity to act as a role model and teach kids how to work as a team.
Become a mentorMentoring a child is a great way to help them build resilience. Find opportunities to participate in mentorship programs on your installation. Being a positive influence and taking the time to get to know a child can make a big difference.
Positive and consistent interactions with adults can help counter child adversity — including trauma, abuse and neglect. Children are works in progress, and the influence of the adults around them is significant. Learn how others in the military community are helping to raise resilient kids, or visit Thrive, which offers programs for military parents to help them develop their own skills in positive adult-child interactions.
If you know a child who has experienced abuse, or has disclosed having experienced a difficult or traumatic life event, you can:
- Contact your state’s Child Protective Services or your nearest installation Family Advocacy Program immediately if you have reason to suspect a child has experienced abuse or neglect. If you are overseas, your installation FAP can help you coordinate with the appropriate overseas child welfare agency.
- Call the Childhelp hotline at 800-422-4453 for assistance. If you believe a child is in immediate risk of harm, call 911 or your international emergency contact number.
- Read more about how to manage complex situations and how best to support children who have been through a difficult or painful experience. Visit What Is Complex Trauma? A Resource Guide for Youth and Those Who Care About Them. If you are a parent or caregiver of a child who has been through a serious traumatic event, you can learn how to help your child heal from trauma.
Pay it forward and be a positive influence for the kids in your military community to help them grow up safe and strong. Remember that taking the time to be a nurturing influence isn’t only the right thing to do — it’s also extremely rewarding.
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