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ARTICLEChildhood Sexual Behaviors
All children begin to develop sexually at an early age. Sometimes, it can be hard to know what child behaviors are normal and which ones might be concerning.
Understanding your child’s stages of sexual development can better prepare you for any questions they may ask about gender, sexuality and relationships as they grow.
Problematic sexual behavior in children and youth is defined as behavior, initiated by children and youth under the age of 18, that involves using sexual body parts in a manner that is developmentally inappropriate or potentially harmful to the individual or individuals impacted by the behavior.
Listen to This EpisodeListen NowLearn about typical sexual development in children and youth, as well as problematic sexual behaviors by listening to this podcast episode.
Use the information below to increase your understanding of the varying degrees of development. The more a parent knows, the better caretaker they can be.
What is typical behavior?Typical behavior:
- Is voluntary, infrequent and spontaneous
- Is easily diverted when an adult explains privacy rules to a child and tells them to stop the behavior
- Involves children of similar age and size who explore their sexual body parts together
- Occurs among children who know each other
- Is not accompanied by uncomfortable or upset feelings
What is cautionary behavior?Cautionary behavior:
- Can occur when an interaction is not suitable for the location (e.g., school, faith community)
- Is normative, but more frequent than typical for a child’s age
- Does not reach the level of being harmful or distressing to self or others
- Occurs despite adult intervention and redirection
- Can occur if the behavior is typical, but involves technology, such as taking pictures of private parts
What is problematic behavior?Problematic behavior:
- Involves force, coercion or aggression
- Involves children with an age difference of at least two years or any significant developmental or power differences
- Is harmful, potentially harmful or distressing to any child
- Is accompanied by strong and upset feelings, such as anger or anxiety, by any child involved
- Continues to occur despite intervention by caregivers or other guiding adults
- Involves a preoccupation with sexual content
Additional guidance, support and resources
Teach your kids healthy body boundaries and how they can protect themselves by trusting their instincts, being assertive and taking prompt and decisive action.
Most children who show problematic sexual behaviors respond well to informed parent support, increased guidance and supervision and evidence-based treatment programs, with no future incidents of sexually inappropriate behavior. To learn more about the resources available for parents, read Sexual Development in Children — Resources for Military Families.
Contact your pediatrician, school counselor or access online resources via Military OneSource for additional information and guidance.
This online toolkit is designed to support parents and caregivers as they navigate raising children — and contains resources for understanding child sexual development.
Watch these OneOp webinars from the Family Development: Sexual Behavior in Children and Youth series.
Watch these webinars to learn more about factors associated with normal and concerning behavior and how you can help keep children safe.
Visit the National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth website.
NCSBY strives to inspire youth, parents, caregivers and professionals to make better choices and provides information on problematic sexual behavior in youth.
The Family Advocacy Program can provide resources and referral information to civilian medical treatment facilities for children and youth who are not eligible for care in military facilities, or for parents who would like to seek outside services. Services extend to both children impacted and children exhibiting PSB-CY. The program also provides education for parents on healthy child sexual development as a means of preventing PSB-CY.
Contact your installation’s FAP office to assist your child and family with information, supportive counseling and specialized resources.
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