-
MilLife Topics
- Military Basics
- Deployment
- Transitioning & Retiring
- Casualty Assistance
- Moving & PCS
- Housing & Living
- Recreation, Travel & Shopping
- Relationships
- Parenting
- Special Needs
- Health & Wellness
- Safety From Violence & Abuse
- Financial & Legal
- Education & Employment
- I am a…
- Benefits & Resources
- Benefits
- Back to Menu
- View Benefits Finder
- View Benefits Finder
- Moving
- Military OneSource Services
- Planning & Prevention
- Discounts & Perks
- Pay & Leave
- Education & Employment
- Recreation
- Family & Child Care
- Relationships
- Health Care & Emotional Well-being
- Retirement
- Assistance Programs
- Housing
- Shopping
- Legal
- Travel
- Popular Benefits
- MilTax
- Space-A Travel
- DOD MWR Libraries
- Resources
- Back to Menu
- View Resources Finder
- View Resources Finder
- MilLife Guides
- Military OneSource Network Websites
- Podcasts
- Government Websites
- Webinars
- External Websites
- Directories & Tools
- Online Learning
- Mobile Apps
- Popular Resources
- MilitaryINSTALLATIONS
- Plan My Move
- Moving Personal Property
- DPS Login
- Other Resources
- Data, Research & Statistics
- Products
- Back to Menu
- View Products Finder
- View Products Finder
- Popular Product Types
- Books and Booklets
- Fact Sheets
- Brochures and Cards
- Flyers
- Educational Items
- Posters and Banners
- Popular Products
- Skills for Coping With Change Book
- Healthy Tips to Get Your Family Cooking Book
- Emergency Preparedness Guide
- Chill Drills 2 – Releasing Stress
- Confidential Help
24/7/365 Access to Support
No matter where you serve or live, free and confidential help is available.
- In Crisis?
- Veterans/Military Crisis Line
- Back to Menu
- Veterans/Military Crisis Line
- PhoneLive ChatInternationalWebsite
Dial 988 then press 1 or text 838255
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- Back to Menu
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- PhoneLive ChatText
Call 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Text “START” to 88788
- DOD Safe Helpline - Sexual Assault Support
- Back to Menu
- DOD Safe Helpline - Sexual Assault Support
- PhoneLive ChatWebsite
Call 877-995-5247
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- Back to Menu
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- PhoneLive ChatTTY
Call 988
Use your preferred relay service, or dial 711 then 988
- Domestic Abuse Victim Advocate Locator - Family Advocacy Program
- Back to Menu
- Domestic Abuse Victim Advocate Locator - Family Advocacy Program
- Interactive Tool
In the United States, call 911 if you are in an emergency.
For those outside the United States, call your local emergency number.
- 800-342-9647
- Call Us OCONUS
- Call Us TTY/TDD
- Live Chat
- About Us
- Browse By Program/Office
- Casualty & Mortuary Affairs
- Child & Youth Advocacy
- Child & Youth Programs
- Commissary, Military Exchange & Lodging
- Family Advocacy Program
- Military Community Support Programs
- Military & Family Life Counseling
- Military Family Readiness Programs
- Military Funeral Honors
- Morale, Welfare & Recreation (MWR)
- Office of Special Needs
- Personnel Accountability & Evacuations Operations
- Spouse Education & Career Opportunities
-
Contact Military OneSource
Information and support for service members and their families. About the Call Center.
- 800-342-9647
- Call Us OCONUS
- Call Us TTY/TDD
- Additional Ways to Contact Us
ARTICLESocial Media in Relationships: Making it Work
5 minute read • April 27, 2021Research shows social media can be a positive tool for bringing people closer together. But, when couples disagree on the role of social media in relationships, it can cause friction.
You and your partner can take steps to avoid the negative aspects of social media by finding ways to use it that make you both comfortable.
Setting expectations for social media use
As with everything else, it’s a good idea to be transparent with each other about your online lives. Set expectations about how you use social media and set some ground rules about engaging with each other online, if necessary.
- Talk about which platforms you use regularly. Your partner may be active on an app you rarely open. Or one of you may rarely use social media at all. Knowing this ahead of time will help set expectations for how much you and your partner will interact with each other on different platforms.
- Discuss how much you’re comfortable sharing online. One or both of you may want to keep a low profile and not want photos or personal updates shared online. This could be for personal or professional reasons. Be sure to respect each other’s wishes.
- Talk about what engaging on social media means to you. If one of you is hurt when the other doesn’t acknowledge every new post, discuss each other’s expectations. Harboring bad feelings because your partner didn’t react to your latest photo may lead to an argument. But your partner may not know that’s important to you.
- Avoid demanding your partner like or comment on your posts. This can be controlling and make your partner feel trapped. If your partner does this to you, have a conversation about it. If your partner persists, that may be a sign you need to address a deeper problem in your relationship.
Avoiding the downside of social media in relationships
Social media posts offer a window into other people’s lives. Sometimes, that can trigger jealousy and uncertainty, particularly if you’re in a new relationship and still getting to know one another or have recently broken up with someone. Remember, what you see online is only part of the story.
- Don’t jump to conclusions. You may see your partner post a photo or engage with someone online who you don’t know. Before jumping to conclusions, consider your trust in your partner. If you have serious doubts, have a conversation, preferably in person and without being confrontational.
- Avoid comparing your relationship to others online. Social media often presents a skewed version of reality. People tend to post only the highlights of their lives, leaving the impression everything is perfect. In comparison, you may feel your own life and relationship fall short. Make a mental checklist of all the positive things you’ve posted about yourself or your relationship. Do they tell the whole story? This may help you understand there’s often more below the surface than what appears on social media.
- Stay away from social media when you’re angry. It’s a good rule of thumb to avoid scrolling through social media when you’re mad or upset, whether it’s with your partner or something else. Staying off entirely means you won’t post something you’ll regret or will make you feel worse.
- Try not to rely on social media to communicate with your partner. Only tagging someone in memes can become boring. If you’re physically separated, use video chat. Share your day-to-day thoughts and activities to stay connected. Learn some tips for communicating effectively through text messages.
Finding the positives of social media in relationships
If you or your partner feel uncomfortable with social media, it can feel like one of you is looking to find a problem. Instead, think through the positive aspects of engaging online. These include:
- Letting your partner know you’re thinking of them. Tagging your significant other in pictures, videos or memes shows them they’re on your mind. It also reinforces that you pay attention to what they like.
- Scroll through their pictures when you miss them. This is especially nice if you or your partner are deployed or otherwise separated. Leave nice comments to give your partner a boost.
- Note your partner’s accomplishments and share news of them. As long as your partner is comfortable with this, it shows them you are committed and proud of their achievements.
- Join online groups with your partner. These groups can be about shared common interests, such as sports, pets, photography or other topics you and your partner can chat about.
Being on the same page with social media and using it in a positive way can strengthen your connection and bring you closer. For more tips and resources for every phase of your relationship, visit the Re the We page on Military OneSource.
Service members or spouses in need of a relationship boost can seek additional support via Military OneSource by live chat or by calling 800-342-9647, or through the Military and Family Life Counseling program.
Learn about military bases worldwide. Get installation overviews, check-in procedures, housing, neighborhood information, contacts for programs and services, photos and more.
Your session will expire in 5 minutes.Click "Extend" below to stay logged in.
This site is for testing purposes only.If you are part of the general public, navigate to the public site. This site is solely for testing and approving site pages before they are released to the general public.