Keeping Your Relationship Strong

Relationships take effort and attention, and that’s especially true of military relationships when frequent moves, long separations and additional stress are parts of the equation. But it’s worth the effort. A loving, resilient marriage is a source of personal happiness and family joy, and a solid relationship also lets service members focus on their mission and daily duty requirements.

Simply talking and listening to your spouse is so important to a healthy relationship. Sharing feelings isn’t always easy, but it is the foundation for lasting love.

Trust is an important part of a fulfilling and safe relationship. And although it tends to build over the course of a relationship, trust between two people can suffer when there are unresolved feelings of jealousy.

How you and your partner deal with jealousy is crucial to building trust and avoiding more serious problems. Some healthy ways to deal with jealousy are to:

• Take inventory of your relationship on a regular basis: What are the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship?
• Confront sensitive issues or problems honestly, no matter how painful or scary they may be.
• Learn how to effectively manage your anger.
• Work on your communication as a couple.
• Consider a marriage enrichment program.

No relationship is perfect, but it’s important to recognize unhealthy relationship behaviors, like controlling actions or unreasonable expectations, which can escalate over time.

When conflict does arise, help is available to get you through. Counseling is available no matter where you are.

Each military service branch offers programs designed to enrich marriage and maintain a healthy relationship by helping couples develop better communication skills and rekindle their romance. These programs are generally:

• Run by chaplains and supported by commanders, Military and Family Support Centers, and installation family readiness programs
• Non-faith-specific
• Either low-cost or free to service members and spouses

To find out about programs available through your service branch and installation, check with your chaplain or local Military and Family Support Center. Through the center, military and family life counselors are available on installations and embedded in units to provide personalized support according to your relationship needs and to connect you to resources and programs.

Here are some service-specific programs.

Army

Installation chaplains offer the Building Strong and Ready Teams program. The program features:

• Weekend retreats that help couples build relationship resiliency
• Specific retreats for couples, families, single soldiers and for those facing deployment
• Activities for unit members who are on the same duty cycle

Marine Corps

The Marine Corps offers the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program. This program:

• Benefits newlyweds and seasoned couples alike
• Helps couples improve their communication skills and build strong relationships
• Offers workshops through chaplains and Marine Corps Family Team Building

Navy

Chaplains Religious Enrichment Development Operations offer marriage enrichment retreats. More information is available on the Navy’s website. These getaways include:

• Weekend retreats that help couples focus on their relationships while enjoying food, fun and romance
• The opportunity for couples to learn about handling conflict, growing their marriage, building intimacy, communication and understanding each other

Air Force

The Air Force Chaplain Corps offers marriage enrichment programs. Check with your installation’s chaplain to see what’s available in your area.

Get a little extra help connecting or communicating. You can access free, confidential counseling services through the Military and Family Life Counseling Program and Military OneSource.