How to Find Help for Victims of Domestic Abuse

Seeking help to address controlling or abusive behaviors by a spouse or intimate partner is one of the most powerful decisions you will ever make. It is important to know when or how to reach out for help, and discussing unhealthy behavior or abuse with a professional is just a small step toward a safer and healthier tomorrow.

If you, are experiencing controlling or abusive behaviors by your spouse or intimate partner, picking up the phone to ask for help or speaking to a professional about problems in your relationship doesn’t require you to make any immediate decisions.

There are several options for getting help, depending on your situation. One is through the Domestic Abuse Victim Advocate Locator. You can also find help by calling Military OneSource at 800-342-9647. For domestic abuse emergencies that need an immediate response,
call 911.

Reporting options

The Defense Department is committed to ending domestic abuse. To that end, the department offers you the option of making either a restricted or unrestricted report of domestic abuse, except in select cases. Both options allow for access to victim advocacy services, which include personal help and support as well as safety planning.

Restricted reporting

Persons impacted by domestic abuse may choose to file a restricted report. Three groups of professionals have the authority to keep information about domestic abuse confidential under the restricted reporting option:

• Domestic abuse victim advocates
• Family Advocacy Program clinicians
• Health care providers*

Making a restricted report means:

• Law enforcement is not notified.
• Command is not involved.
• Eligible persons impacted by domestic abuse have access to the full range of Family Advocacy Program services, including counseling and support from a victim advocate. They will work with the individual experiencing the abuse to develop a safety plan and identify next steps, including pursuing options outside the military system.

Eligibility:

• Restricted reports are only available to adult victims of domestic abuse who are eligible to receive medical services at a military treatment facility.
• Restricted reports are not an option in instances involving child abuse or neglect, or if there is a serious and imminent threat to the health or safety of the victim or another person.

*Some state-specific laws may require medical providers to report known or suspected incidents of domestic abuse to law enforcement, regardless of a victim’s preferences. Contact your local FAP or legal assistance office to learn more.

Unrestricted reporting

With an unrestricted report, the person impacted by domestic abuse may notify officially designated personnel — the chain of command, FAP or military law enforcement — of an incident of abuse.

Making an unrestricted report means:

• Law enforcement will be notified of the incident.
• Command will be notified.
• Eligible persons impacted by domestic abuse have access to protection and support from the command, such as a military protection order.
• Eligible persons impacted by domestic abuse have access to the full range of FAP services, including counseling and support from a victim advocate. They will work with the victim to develop a safety plan and identify next steps.
• Eligible persons impacted by domestic abuse can receive assistance in applying for transitional compensation, if applicable.

Family Advocacy Program

Your nearest FAP office provides services to protect, support and empower victims of domestic abuse, and offers treatment for abusers, as appropriate. The program offers a range of services, including:

• Emergency services and counseling: Domestic abuse victim advocates can assist you in finding shelter, medical care, counseling, legal services and other resources both on and off military installations. Advocates provide valuable information and support on issues such as family services, military and civilian legal and court procedures and other matters to help you make informed decisions for you and your family.
• Help creating a safety plan: Counselors and advocates will help you design an individualized safety plan, including steps to take before, during and after a domestic abuse crisis. A safety plan covers things like where to go for shelter, how to find financial and emotional support, making a contingency plan for child care and what to have ready to take with you if you must leave home quickly.
• Assistance getting a military protection order or civilian protection order: Depending on your situation, you may want to consider a military protection order — issued by a military commander — or a civilian protection order, issued by a civilian court. An MPO can be used when the abuser is an active-duty service member and can restrict them from having contact with you or other protected individuals. CPOs can be issued with both active-duty and civilian abusers.
• Counseling services: Licensed clinical FAP staff provide individual and group counseling to help victims mitigate the effects of the abuse they have experienced, challenge self-blaming thoughts and make healthier choices for themselves and their children, when applicable.
• Transitional compensation: Eligible family members of a service member separated from the service due in part to a dependent abuse offense can receive temporary payments and benefits. Transitional compensation assists military family members by lessening the financial hardship associated with leaving an abusive relationship.

The DOD’s Domestic Abuse Victim Advocate Locator helps you locate the closest on-installation victim support services in your geographical area — whether you’re in the United States or overseas.

Other resources

National Domestic Violence Hotline

The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) is a free and confidential resource for those in an abusive relationship or family or friends who love and care about their health and safety. Hotline services include:

• Crisis intervention
• Safety planning
• Information about domestic violence and referrals to local service providers
• Direct connection to domestic violence resources available in the caller’s area provided by a hotline advocate, including local domestic abuse victim advocates
• Assistance in more than 140 different languages

The toll-free hotline is confidential, available 24 hours a day and can be reached from anywhere in the United States, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Call 800-787-3224 TTY for the Deaf, Deaf-Blind and Hard of Hearing, or visit www.thehotline.org.

VA’s Military Sexual Trauma page

The Department of Veterans Affairs provides information and resources for service members who experienced sexual abuse by their spouse or intimate partner via military sexual trauma. Topics include:

• Treatment
• Coping
• Accessing services

Taking the first step

If you are concerned about unhealthy patterns or recognize abuse in your relationship, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Specially trained professionals are available to provide confidential assistance 24/7. Facing a problem and asking for help takes courage, and it might be the first step to a safer and more fulfilling future.

If you find yourself in a dangerous situation, contact your command, a FAP office or law enforcement. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911.