Financial Abuse

Domestic abuse goes beyond physical abuse. Another example is financial abuse, such as when a partner repeatedly withholds funds and controls all household spending. If your partner is hostile or dismisses your concerns about finances, it could be financial abuse.

Relationships can be challenging, especially with added military life stressors. It’s important to recognize the warning signs of financial abuse, which don’t always appear overnight.

Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse. The Defense Department describes domestic abuse as a pattern of behavior resulting in emotional or psychological abuse, economic control or interference with personal liberty that is directed toward a:

• Current or former spouse
• Person with whom the abuser shares a child in common
• Current or former intimate partner with whom the alleged abuser shares or has shared a common domicile
• Person who is or has been in a social relationship of a romantic or intimate nature with the alleged abuser

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, “financial abuse is rooted in the desire of one partner to have power and control over the other. A partner who chooses to abuse will control their partner’s finances or their ability to provide for themselves through a job or public assistance they receive.”

Possible warning signs of financial abuse could include cases in which your partner:

• Controls the money in your bank account and monitors your spending (could include requesting that you turn over all your receipts and small change from shopping trips)
• Allots you an allowance to pay bills or buy groceries that doesn’t cover the expenses
• Denies you access to credit cards or prevents you from opening a bank account
• Decides solely how the household money is spent
• Refuses to let you have a job or allows you to have a job but demands that you hand the money you make over to them
• Refuses to seek employment to help with household finances
• Refuses to provide money for items such as hygiene products and personal care and wellness

FAP supports service members and military families impacted by domestic abuse. Family Advocacy Program staff can help at any stage of a relationship. Victims can talk with an advocate and decide how much of their story to share — and the amount of support they want. FAP will tailor tools and resources to assist.