Strengthen Family Bonds

Dealing with frequent moves, long deployments and major transitions requires stamina and strength. Some families seem to handle the ups and downs better than others. Building resilience — the ability to withstand, recover and grow from stress — can help your family deal with the demands of military life.

Resilient families are flexible, connected and great at using their resources to solve problems. Here are some of the ways families build resiliency.

Your actions can help teach your children skills they need to cope with difficult situations. They follow your lead. You can help build family resilience by listening and answering questions with openness and reassurance.

Ask your children questions that encourage them to share their experiences and ideas. Here are a few to get you started:

• What super power would you most like to have? Why?
• What is your favorite memory?
• What song always brightens your day?
• If you could go anywhere, where would you want to go? Why?
• If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?
• When you are down, what makes you feel better?

Simple acts of affection — such as hugs or loving words for younger children and listening to worries or being involved in activities for older children — have a big impact on a child’s growth and development.

Accepting help and support from those who care about you will help strengthen your resilience. Likewise, assisting others in their time of need can have a positive impact on you and your family.

Connect with others through support groups or other organizations, either on your installation or in the local community. Having a solid group of friends and family to help out and give you advice can take the edge off a rough day and allow you to enjoy your family even more.

Accepting the things you cannot change may help you focus on the things you can change. For example, sticking to a routine when a family member is deployed gives children a sense of stability. Creating new traditions helps, too. Plan something fun to celebrate each change, such as an inexpensive post-deployment vacation.

Part of being optimistic is thinking about the good things in life. Think about what you want instead of focusing on what you fear. Show appreciation for your spouse and children instead of criticizing. Keep your mind busy by trying something new or setting a fun goal for yourself.

Non-medical counseling can help you and your family work through challenges and grow closer. It’s free and confidential through Military OneSource and your installation’s Military and Family Life Counseling Program. Children ages 6-12 can participate in Military OneSource family counseling with a parent present. For youth 13-17, a parent must be present at the start of each session to authorize non-medical counseling.

Children under 18 can meet with a military and family life non-medical counselor with written parental consent.

Military OneSource’s Building Healthy Relationships specialty consultation is another option that offers coaching sessions, practical tools, resources and problem-solving techniques to help deepen your relationship with your children, partner and others.

BENEFITS & MILITARY ONESOURCE SERVICES TO CONNECT WITH SUPPORT

• Military OneSource non-medical counseling
• Military and Family Life Counseling Program
• Building Healthy Relationships